What have we been doing

Since Moe's return life has been INTERESTING around these parts :).

Not in a bad way by any means. Well unless you consider him coming home SICK is bad. Oh, right... that is BAD!

I had to take him in to the ER due to our dr. being out of office for a while. It was confirmed that he had Pink eye, Strep, an inner ear infection and Bronchitis. NICE!

We got some antibiotics and have been knocking this stuff outta the park.

I am REALLY sanitizer happy when it comes to sicknesses. When one has gotten it in our household in the past it has stayed to that one person. I wash everyone's hands a LOT and sanitize on top of that. NOBODY touches anyone and they all stay in respective spots until said sickness is over... ( more or less, minus trips to the bathroom and kitchen table. Then it is sanitize and wash all over again).

But this time... oh yes, this time. I was doing GREAT to keep the boys from being too close to one another. I was clorox wiping toys and Moe was only allowed ONE toy for a limited time until it was time to "switch" so I could clean the one he had and give him something else. All that work and I look up and see Bear holding Moe's sippie he'd gotten off the counter!!! I cannot tell you how badly I was ready and willing to clorox swab the inside of his mouth at that point!

At that point I knew it was inevitable. Bear was going to get what Moe had. AND HE HAS! Yesterday afternoon he woke with a fever. Just the tip of the iceberg people! Just the tip.
Today he has a pink eye and a very hoarse throat (not to mention VERY SORE), a terrible runny nose and an AWFUL cough!

To the ER we go! I walk in and write my own prescription seeing I already KNOW what it is! (Okay so I didn't write my own of course and I still had to wait 3 hours to walk back out with a prescription for the same meds Moe is taking). NOT.A.HAPPY.MOMMY!

I know it is none of my children that can help what is going on. I am just mad that I have been so careful to not take my children out to places with sick kids or even have BEEN sick. When "sick season" is about I don't go to any public places where my kids can "roam free" or touch things. I wipe everything down with sanitary wipes including their hands and yes even around their mouth (not their lips) and around their nose (where all germs enter). And home comes MOE sick as a dog for lack on his families part to keep him well.

I feel like I have given up my child(ren)'s well being just so that they could be lazy, and it drives me insane. Again I know we are going to get through this and I know that there are worse situations that we could be dealing with but I am frustrated all the same, I am venting! I am glad to have our little boy back no matter... I just hate that he is having to endure this and drag Bear along right behind him.

On to developmental news. :)

This was him the day he came home. We jumped right in the swing of things. Time out was/ is crucial for him. He is VERY strong willed and if you let him have an inch he will be writing you from China! The kid is SMART and KNOWS how to crawl right up under that nerve and WORK IT!

He came home throwing tantrums at the drop of a hat. He can no longer speak words as before he left so he is mad at the fact that we will not give him what he is whining for. We taught him to speak once before and we can do it again.

He and Bear are now playing good together and sharing (ahem... EVERYTHING apparently!). He is starting to sound out words again and he is smiling all the time (our CW said he was so depressed and NEVER smiled anymore. His mother also called me one day worried about him and his "being depressed"). He is happy again! I am thrilled to see such progress in his actions and speaking.

He was potty training when he left our home 4 mos ago and he totally regressed there too. I had to go back to "familiarizing" him with the toilet. Screaming fits and "rebellion". Finally he went. Now he is going like a champ and standing up even to pee pee in the potty. He stopped the other day and grabbed his diaper and looked shocked and made a noise (in place of talking). I asked him "Moe, you need to go potty?" He dropped his toys and ran to the toilet. He has had at most 3 "accidents" (he's still in pull-ups) since being home and "training" again. I am proud of him for trying so hard!


Other than the trying to keep their noses wiped and their meds straight and administered, we are moving right along in the right direction. I love my boys and am happy to be the only girl in the midst of all my guys. ONE day we will welcome our little girl home to stay :)... one day.

Off to tend to a crying Bear. He is VERY sore right now and does not handle sickness well! He gets hit hard when it comes to being sick! I don't like this part!

It's over

I can't take it anymore...

I am in LOVE.

And I think he is about the cutest thing in a hat!

I ventured out to make him a TINY hat that would fit him and be WAY stinkin' cute.

I did it!Hmmm a BIT small...

So I did it again, only bigger.
There Now they match!

Today

Okay so for those of you who follow me on Facebook you knew I had court this morning. Originally I went for Roo BUT it "just so happens" that Moe's case was reviewed before the court today also.

I have had some insight on what has been happening in his case and it has NOT been good! I knew that. I knew CPS has not been happy with his current conditions. I knew that they were wanting him to come back to us. I did. I just didn't know that it would happen today!

First of all Roo's case was very short and the mother is wanting to work plans to get him back... they usually always start out that way. She was all alone, no attorney, no friend, no hand to hold. Just her. It broke my heart. I looked at her at such a young age and thought that so could have been me back at that age. ALONE, Lost! I cried. (Ol' soft heart syndrome!). She just needs someone to take her by the hand and tell her she is loved, she has value and that she has a savior crying out for her heart! JESUS, captivate her heart! There are no visitations in play so I am unsure of what that means.

Then came Moe's case! Boy Howdy that was a different story all together! It lasted about 3 hours of back and forth this and that... UGH. EXCRUCIATING! Especially having to listen to them explain the things that Moe has been through since he left our home and how he has regressed so much.

When they were talking about him no longer talking I didn't think they were 100% truthful. And when they said he was distant and depressed I was like hmmm, maybe he is just being his bashful self.

Not in the least.

Today Moe was returned to our home.

He cannot talk. He looks straight through you... he's lost in his own little world.

I cry.

Where is my happy little Moe Baby and why is there no way I can save him from this corrupt system.

CPS wants him to be adopted by us but the judge may not see that necessary if the mom can now step it up and make a way for him.

I hate that he has to be put through so much at such a young age. YES children are resilient but they are also VERY FRAGILE... Handle with care!

This has been some of the most careless acts imposed upon his little self. I was for the dad having a chance to prove himself a fit father but when it started going downhill they should have stopped it then. NOT 4 months later!

We welcomed him back into our home and saw Bear interact with his little self. Moe was being stand off-ish and then Bear came right up to him on my lap and started laughing this ridiculous little goofy laugh and Moe cracked up laughing and they sat there for 5 minutes laughing at eachother... an overwhelming JOYFUL laugh... at NOTHING. The pure innocence of childhood that he should ALWAYS know in our home.

Tonight I sat with him, prayed with him and just held him. He was tough. He put up a fight. He then surrendered and smiled at me and dropped one part of that wall.

Our Moe Baby has been returned as a damaged package but with lots of delicate placement and all the right pieces we can get him back. I love him no matter how he comes. It will be some hard work but to see him being well taken care of ... I will take that hard work over none.

ANY DAY!

Happenings

Tomorrow we have court for Roo and oddly enough it will also be the review hearing for Moe's case and how it's been going.

As of now things have not been going accordingly. There are so many things that are up in the air with him coming and going. Nobody is sure where things stand but tomorrow I hope to hear a clear perspective on things.

As for Roo. He is WONDERFUL and absolutely ADORABLE! I am having so much fun being a new mommy again. I am taking things slow this time around. I know they grow up all too fast and I want this one to last. I hold him and cuddle him A LOT. I sometimes wear him around the house just because.

He is weighing in at 6 lbs 1oz. He is 20 in long. He was born 3 weeks preemie so he has yet to come to his "due" date. He will be 2 weeks tomorrow.

I was concerned because all he does is sleep! NOW, don't get me wrong, I KNOW newborns sleep A LOT.. BUT they also have small wake times. NOT Roo. He sleeps ALL DAY LONG and ALL NIGHT. He gets fussy at feeding time (every 3 hours) but he NEVER opens his eyes for more than a second or two and then he's got them closed again. He eats while they are closed, fusses while they are closed. WHATEVER... THEY ARE CLOSED.

I am adamant on sleep training so by 8 weeks old all our babes move to their own room and sleep through the night. So for that they have to have a wake time... even a newborn you start training them for small increments. So when they eat you need them to not sleep through their feeding. With Moe and Miley I had to run their little feet under cool water or get a wipee for their face to get them awake. Works like a charm. NOT for Roo. He will get mad and cry but his eyes never open. I start feeding him and he is crashing out again WHILE eating! LOL...

SO all that to say I was concerned something was not right. I talked to a friend of mine who has also had experience mothering premature babies and told me that when they hit their "due date" a switch flips, so to speak. They start doing the "newborn things". Hmmm makes sense! So for now we will just enjoy his tiny self and feed him in his sleep and all.

Today was a bit better though. He did have a small wake time and was cooing, some. There is progress. We laid him on his little gym mat and he was looking at some of the toys hanging overhead. That was encouraging. When you have babies that you know have been born with "issues (drugs, alcohol, meds)" it is easy to start analyzing the "delays" you see. As a foster parent we have to report these things and have assessments. NOT FUN! I was glad to get the information to know that nothing is REALLY wrong, just catching up on baking :).

I will let you know how court goes tomorrow.

And he shall be called Roo

Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions. When I read the post about the nickname Roo, it literally brought tears to my eyes (yeah I've gotten a bit sentimental). It was HIS name and I knew it.

I am working on blog friendly pictures of this little guy...so stay tuned.

We go to court Tuesday to hear his case. It will be interesting I am almost positive! Just a side note, that will also be the same day as Moe's court hearing so I will be there for both really.

The view from here...

The view from here is a bit distorted in the sense that we see what we see but it isn't really what you see.

From our view point it looks like we have a new baby. Like Bear has a new baby brother. But from CPS viewpoint he is fair game for someone (anyone) else to have him right now. There are half siblings adopted out already from a while back. They get first opportunity to say they want him. If it is a yes then we suffer the loss.

These are the chances we take just to have a view like this from time to time.

In all reality God is sovereign and if this little punkin is meant to be a Wachsmann then by golly NOBODY will set hand on this child to remove him from this home. We are praying God's best for him!

**We still have to come up with a blog name for him. He reminds me of a baby squirrel but squirrel doesn't just have a baby ring to it.. you know.

I was given the name Leo as a suggestion last night, and while I like it I would also like to hear what you have to say.**

Baby, baby

yeah that pretty much says it all. Minus ONE baby! :)

In appx 3 hours we will be getting an 8 day old baby boy! Adoption possibilities look GREAT, BUT we all know how "the system" can work! SO we will not hold our breath!

All we know (that we can share publicly) is that he weighs 6lbs and is 20in long. And he will be coming home at about 4pm. He is anglo but so were Bear and Miley bird! LOL. We will see what the true test (seeing) says.

Updates to come.

Moving right along

Ever wonder if what you are teaching your children is really sticking? Like maybe that blank stare is more than them watching for the moment your back is turned to do what they have been longing to do, sit on the dog and play cowboys!

When I draw for Bear he watches me so intently that I am almost certain that he will then grab the pen and start copying my every move. Well, he didn't. He would do the normal 2 year learning thing and pick up the pen and draw circles and lines and then he would write a letter or two.

That is until the other day. We went on a little day trip and took my Aunt along for the ride. J was driving and I was passenger so that left Bear and my Aunt Becky riding in the back of the jeep. She has always been my inspiration in art. Growing up that is my fondest memory of her... ART! Drawings, paintings, sculpting... you name it she would teach us how to do it. My Great Aunt Marilyn did too but I didn't see her as much as my Aunt Becky.

Anyhow, wherever we go we bring Bear's magnadoodle because he loves to "draw" and "write" letters. That day coming from the back seat were scads of requests for this drawing and that by my very anxious son. My Aunt was drawing animals left and right and soon to follow would be the roar, the hiss, the ooohhh aaahhhh aaahhh-ing (whatever it is the monkey does!). It sounded like we had collided with a zoo and the humans had somehow escaped the back seat. To say the least it was an interesting ride. Very entertaining.

But in the midst of the fun and wild inhabitants of the back seat my son was learning and taking it all in. He has been learning... it just sometimes takes a bit to make it to the magnadoodle :).
Now without further ado ... "THE SNAKE"

He is such a talented little boy. I am loving watching and encouraging all these fun talents he displays.

Last night we were going to the "bounce house" for him to exert some of his ENERGY before bed and on the way we made a pit stop at Starbucks for a cup of instant happiness. On our way from the drive thru I hear this from my back seat, "B-T-H-U-B... Bath-tub".

Okay so we didn't pass a bathtub store or anything so he is clearly remembering the side of our bathtub where there sits a label, as most things have in our home these days. And in his recollection he just starts "spelling" it and then says it. Just like he does at home (minus the cards). I am so in awe at the speed he has been learning things.

We have now almost made it through the entire alphabet in sign. You make the letter (out of order) and he can tell you what letter it is and mimic your hand position. He still needs help getting his hands to work with a few like the "K" and the "F", "M", and "R". Other than that he is on top of the game.

He mastered the alphabet several months ago with visual and verbal acknowledgment of each individual letter. So with that we moved onto letter sounds, spelling and word recognition. He is eating this learning up and I am happy to oblige. I love that he is hungry for knowledge.

He has been counting for a while now and can count to 20. He has recognized all of his numbers visually and can count without seeing them as well. When he gets to about 13 and 14 he will repeat 14 until he gets to 16 or 17 and then the rest as follows. He can count groups of things. Like if there are 6 sheep in the pen, he will point to each one, counting it and then tell you "6 sheep".So I decided to see how far we could take this... it's all trial and error teaching him really. Just go to the next stage until they aren't ready anymore, then work there for a while until time to move on up. Anyway, I had his little counting buttons out and we were counting and then I placed 4 in front of him. I asked him to count them. "Four Buttons" was his reply. I said "Okay I am going to give you MORE buttons and we will add them to your four". I added 2 more. I told him to count them again. He counted them again and counted "6 buttons". I cheered him on and told him "that is adding!!" :). I know it all seems so simple and a no brainer but it is so exciting for me to see him learning these things and then spitting it right back at you ready for more.

He loves to explore outside and take long walks on the trails out here. He is a sponge and he is soaking it in. So I will do my part and train up his brain to learn and problem solve. Who knows who God intended him to be... I am so blessed to be a part of this phase of his life. It is so crucial!

New Photog blog

I broke down and created a blog specifically for my pictures. Not to say that I won't still post pictures here BUT for the ones that really don't have a post background they are sitting over here for your viewing pleasure and open for encouragements, comments and constructive criticism...if you'd like.

Thanks for following along on ALL our journeys... wherever that may lead!

I would if I could

I have started getting back into the routine of things and seeing that my ankle, back AND neck are all giving me issues I sought some advice on what I can do that will not further strain these areas while I work the problem off (excess weight).

I think it is due to excessive weight that I am having all these problems. Well that and not enough vitamins in my daily diet to help out. I had put on LOTS of weight when I had all 3 of my children back to back. I have always been good at "maintaining weight" but never really losing it as I got older. SO I have maintained my baby weight. Hmmmm not.so.good!

I am getting older and I really need to start thinking of the things that will help me along the way and not weigh me down and keep me in pain. I stay active but it is not enough. I rarely eat throughout the day and that is an issue. I still think I am a twenty something year old work mule and it is getting the better of me.

I got some wonderful advice to use a stationary bike for exercise (with some weight exercises I have). I started a menu for healthy eating and we are loving the foods!

So as I received this advice I also got an offer to have my aunts stationary bike. HECK YES!

We went out to her "farm" the other day to pick it up (along with LOTS of outside toys and bikes and tractors for Bear that her son has outgrown).

Now if we could just convince him that this one was for me...

I would do what I got it for!
Now, Where to put it?

** mind the clean laundry in the background that had yet to be hung up** :)

Fun day on the farm (well sorta)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IS IT TRUE!!??!!

I actually got to go out and have a mommy date the other night.

I met up with my precious friend Mollie the other night at Starbucks for some much needed GIRL TIME!

Now, I have NEVER been a fan of Starbucks as most all of my friends can tell you. When we would get together they'd always have this idea to go to Starbucks. I, however, DETEST coffee so it was never my favorite.

And YES I know they have other stuff there but you don't go to a flower shop to buy beef! Okay, MEANING their specialty is COFFEE... so everything else there is...um... NOT.

That is until this love affair! No, not the artist who now know's how to "spell" my name... but the hot liquid this cup contains!
CARMEL APPLE SPICE!!! (No cream... thanks)

Can I say divinity has stepped all over my face with a splash of spiced goodness! Yeah, It's that good!

Of course I totally enjoyed my wonderful girl time even more.

We talked about transitioning babies into toddlerhood and trying to make "me time" work ANYTIME of the day so that we actually GET some me time during the day. We talked about how this "date" we only yawned twice as opposed to the "every other sentence" when we met up last, as all our boys were still wee babes.

We laughed and spoke of dreams and our hearts. We discussed our marriages and how we have grown so much being married AND now mothers. We just talked! We laughed... I EVEN cried... I am getting SOOO sentimental in my old(er) age! I have found that fostering has sensitised my heart so much. I just talk about these babes and I shed a tear! Tell me MY heart's not in it :).

It saddens me that life overtakes the pure and simple joys of friendships most days but I am so thankful with one phone call and a diligent plan to hang out and catch up we can reconnect with one another. Even if we have to drag ourselves out in the freezing cold! Oh, yes, we will get together!

I love my Mols!

Lunch excitement

I was trying to think of a clever way to tell you this but my head hurts and my brain is fuzzy.

In the town I live it is not uncommon to run into David Crowder on any given day... you know given that he is home and not on tour or out of town visiting family or anything like that.

Today J and I were at lunch with Bear and MIL. As we were sitting there waiting on our lunch David Crowder and.... his... um... friend? girlfriend? NOT his mother! fiance? some girl walk in and sit in the booth right behind us! I got to stare at the back of his FUN fluffed head during our lunch.

I debated having him sign Bear's forehead but I didn't want to be rude and impose on their lunch (and I didn't have a sharpie!).

I have run into him in several different locations. He is from the town we live near and has his recording studio out behind his house. He is (or was) the lead worship singer in a church near our church.

So before I could get the courage (and a sharpie) to ask him to sign something. I looked up and they were gone.

So that's my claim to fame for the day!

It's a boy thang!

You may understand it!

**Yes this is back when we had Moe and Miley Bird**

See Moe taking tips on how to Potty in the trees?

My new found mommy treasure

"Tenderness"

When J and I first got married he bought me the one where the guy was standing behind the girl and she was holding his face (can't remember the name of it and it got broken recently).

Then when I was expecting Olivia Grace I wanted so badly the one where "she" is holding her pregnant belly. I never got it but I did get the one for J for father's day with the daddy holding his new baby on his lap. When Olivia was born and then passed away I put it in her coffin at her viewing to be buried with her.

For Christmas after we were blessed with Bear, J's brother (Scott) bought me the one with the dad holding the baby in his lap and the mother looking over the shoulder. That one still stands on our bookshelves displaying significance.

The other day on an outing with my inlaw sisters and mother I spotted this treasure. It was mixed up with a different saying (which personally I liked better) but this one will suffice. And the resemblance was too stinkin cute I had to get it to display this mommy's love and affection for her little curly headed boy.

The country gal in me!

Today J and I took Bear to the Jumping party and then out for lunch.

We turn out of our driveway and start heading down the hwy. I glance over at a "neighbor's" land where they have lots of horses and notice a coyote standing by the water trough just outside the livestock fence.

I told J. "Oh my goodness he's going in for the kill in broad daylight, turn around we need to go tell the people in the house to get a gun and be on the look out".

So we turn around and head up to the house. J can see him from the car and I am pounding away on the door. Nobody but the Pomeranian is interested in answering the door. From the looks of it nobody was home.

So I start to walk to the car and see the coyote staring at me. Hmmm sure he COULD run for me. But I just clap my hands loudly and yell at him to "go'on" (you know... "h'ya, g'on" for you fellow southerners! :)

I start jogging to the car and he takes off in the opposite direction. I get in the car and we start heading back onto the hwy. He is running down the dich and starts gaining lots of speed as we pick up speed. He then darts across the highway dodging two cars and disappears into the "woods" near our house.

We saved a bit of livestock today. Probably just a chicken, but still! It is safe. Well it was earlier today.

J was like, "that was so close to our house!"

I told him, "honey you don't know the half of it. They pass through our yard every night I am almost positive!". I saw one just the other day running in the field right across from us. Broad daylight, ducking fences from property to property. They get brave in this cold weather.

saying goodbye is the easiest thing

Well for Bear saying goodbye has been simple thus far.

He said goodbye after a 7 month relationship with his pacifier. We took it away one day at 7 months old and he never looked back.

Shortly after that at 9 months old. We did away with his bottle and moved him solely onto the sippie cup. We had been "training" since 6 months. He was a super champ by this time.

18 mos old said goodbye to diapers during the day... just freebird to start hard core potty training.

22 mos old. Said goodbye to being naked during the day and introduced underwear... then 3 mos later...no more accidents and you are in the cutest little boxer briefs known to toddler kind!

Now the day has come at 26 months old that you have learned to drink solely out of a "big" cup, therefore I will pack away your old flame.

The Sippie cup.



Dear sippie cup,

you have been so faithful for all these .... scratch that... for a little over a year. When I dropped you, you never ran out on me. When I chewed you, you would never spout off. You kept your cool and I admire you for that.

You have been such a dear friend, keeping your contents fresh just for me. What better love could I have ever asked for. I will never forget you or your slow paced ways that helped me become a better drinking man!

Love always, Bear "chug-a-lug" Wachsmann.

How to of the day

Making fish faces

Pull up a chair let me tell you how this is done.

PLEASE?

Okay, good, I didn't want to have to beg.

First... you suck on the insides of your cheeks.

If you can't get it to work you may have to implement your hands like so.

That juuuuust about does it.

There! GOT IT!

NO?

hmmm, close?

Okay good!


My work here is done!

The gift

Today I had to go to the Chiropractor to be able to move yet again. J had to go get registered at school so I kept Bear with me. He is a joy to take along places so I just brought him along too. My Chiropractor and the staff enjoy seeing him so I knew it would be great.

While we were there waiting in a room to be seen I sat Bear up in a chair with his magnadoodle and he was happy as a lark drawing "pershuns".

The Dr. comes in and talks to him for a bit and gives him some candy... after okaying with mom of course :).

He asks Bear if he has been playing hard lately and if he likes sports, like football. Bear agrees with the words "feeb ball".

I then told the dr. that we were outside playing soft pitch baseball with him the other day. I told him we took his tee away and started teaching him stance and composure. He was knocking them out of the "park" lol. Even with just a plastic bat and ball... he was doing amazing with swinging.

The dr disappears and comes back with a tiny little red glove. Bear sees it and his eyes light up. He says "GLUB". I almost started crying. What a sweet gesture to give him something so precious. The glove was his sons' when they were little and he said he has had it in the closet waiting to give it away for a year now and that he found the perfect candidate. THANK YOU!

He has been with us through the thicks and thins of this journey so he has taken a special liking to "our" children. He is such a great Christian man and is as pleasant as you please!

Bear took the "glub" said "thank you" and got help putting it on. We went into the therapy room and he would not even take it off to play with the toys in there. The Dr. was tickled by the immediate attachment! I told him he would love it and use it well for certain! :)

Today

Today I took my little boy's hand and walked into the museum. No purse, no camera, no extras... just us.

Today I watched him explore and play just like a 2 year old should. Not posing for pictures, not waiting on mommy to "deal with" her camera before walking to the next room. No taking time out of imaginary school bus driving to smile. We just played.

Today was a wonderful day of exploring and browsing with the little boy that God chose to bless us with. I love being his mother and knowing that God chose me to be.

votes are in and decision is...

We will continue growing it out.

I do like the length that it is now. NOW finding a barber to be able to keep it this length and it look good! (Mollie if you can re-send me the name of the barber you all use) :).

I like the idea of keeping it long for the winter and maybe going shorter during the summer. His hair is coarse and thick so it will be hot for him I could imagine.

Thanks for all your votes and the boosting of his cutie pie meeter :). He is adorable either way and I cannot tell you how much more that makes me want to help him become all that GOD calls him to be so he will be a great husband to his BRIDE rather than use his looks to get what he wants.

That may not make sense to some but I know how being attractive can be used for deceit. I want him to know that, YES he is attractive and it is okay to look good and clean cut. BUT, NO you do not use that against anyone or for ill gain. Understand?

Just sayin'. :)

I never

.... thought I would hear myself say the words,

"NO SON! Do not lick the water that splashed on your hand from flushing the toilet!"