More on Moe

He had his surgery this AM for his adenoids and tubes for his ears.

The dr told me other than his hearing being slightly off in the left ear that his ears look healthy. He did have to drain the ear drum and put tubes in but he said they look great.

Moe also has very enlarged adenoids and tonsils which cause him to stop breathing at night. I typically hear him choke and then adjust in his bed, fall back to sleep and continue snoring so loudly it keeps Bear awake at times. He doesn't get adequate sleep due to this routine. Neither of them do really.

The dr told me that they do not like to take the tonsils out before the age of 3 so he worked with what he could. He shaved the adenoids down and we will see how that goes.

He did great this morning. I got him out of bed at 6:45 and he just smiled and walked "sideways" to the bathroom, still trying to adjust that early. I got him dressed and he got into the car with me ready for some "cucumbers" (veggie tales soundtracks).

We got to the clinic and everyone was smiling at him b.c he had a huge grin on his face. He is our happy little boy. (A week ago one would not have thought that... our kids were WAY off. I was ready to pull my hair out. I believe the combination of me being gone at court so many days the week prior and just so many new faces in and out with family taking care of them and attending my uncle's wedding got them WAY OFF TRACK. They were very clingy and VERY annoying, disobedient, loud, you name it... they were acting it. I didn't know WHO they were! But alas, we are back on track and we have happy, balanced (whatever that looks like) children again... whew... nightmare is over!)

Anyhoo... He was playing in the waiting room and then when it was our turn to go back he took the nurses hand and walked away, "Bye Mom".

Such a difference. He used to cling to me and cry. I think seeing visits tapered off a few weeks ago his trust is already starting to root. What a big boy!

I went to wait in the consult room for them to call me. About 20 min later (if even) they called me back to see him. He was coming to when I was walking down the hall, HILARIOUS. The nurses were trying to keep him calmed down on the bed. He kept trying to get up, calling for me. The nurses saw me and told him I was there. I sat down and they slumped his little body into my arms where he laid his head on my chest and proceeded to let me know he wanted a drink and food.

HAHA, Daddy's boy... ALWAYS ready to eat!

After a cup (8 oz) of pedialyte, a cup of juice/water, a snack cup of sugar-free vanilla pudding, peanut butter crackers (6 pack), and a blueberry muffin he was ready for some action; slow action, but action all the same. Cracked me up!

We made a quick errand or two and then headed home. On the way home he informed me that it was time to eat AGAIN!

He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a snack cup of applesauce and was good to go...to bed. :) There he still resides after 3 hours, snoozing away!

ch. ch. ch. changes

There have been LOTSA changes going on in the Wachsmann Home! We have been getting rid of all sorts of things and now that we know a little more on Moe's case (as in we just MAY get to keep him. The chances are now 75% in our favor as opposed to the 40% before.) we have had to bring in some more permanent arrangements.

We had 2 cribs when the boys were smaller but when Bear transitioned to a big full size bed and then Moe left we decided it was time to sell one of the cribs. Miley was still here at that time so we kept one for her. We stored it until Moe came home. We set it back up in their room and it has been his "nest" from that point on.

Time has finally come that Rooster needs a bigger crib (he was in a portable crib) and the boys need something shared-room friendly. We wanted to get them bunk beds (WOODEN with the slide) but the more we searched the more the prices seemed insane, ESPECIALLY FOR THE WOODEN ONES. Metal was not as expensive but that just didn't seem as "comfy", for lack of a better term. Attractive, maybe that's what it was. So we waited.

I have an uncle that does carpentry work so I figured I'd try my hand at drawing up some blue prints for the bunkbeds to be built. Plans were in the process... BUT he never had the time to build them. SO we just waited and decided we'd put it off to see how Moe's case turned out. If he was going home then there would be no reason for bunk beds immediately, at least until Roo got older.

Saturday morning, after the last day of trial on Friday, we set out to find some sort of twin beds or SOMETHING to get some kind of organization in their room. I had looked at Ikea but could not find anything that really stood out AND fit in a reasonable budget. You had to buy the frame THEN the mattresses. Gets pricey QUICK.

We looked online at Walmart, Target, Toys R Us, NOTHING that suited our price range AND style. We went to breakfast and talked it over. We decided we'd try the furniture consignment store here where we live. I had always seen it but have been in it, once, LONG ago.

We walk in an immediately I see IT! THE BUNKBEDS! The one with the slide and the canopy on top. THE wooden ones I have been eyeballing since we started pondering bunkbeds!

I make a bee line for the beds and see a bright pink slip that says "HOLD" on them. My heart sank. BUT we can look around for some twin beds. We started browsing and saw another set of beds that could work. This time there was a YELLOW sign that said "Layaway". HO HUM.

Maybe it was just not meant to be that we got them from here. We looked around some more and nothing worked for what we needed. As we were walking to leave we walked back by the beds just for one more look. I glance at that BIG PINK EYESORE of a 'HOLD' sign and read the words next to it that said "24 hours". Suddenly my 'pre-mommy-brain' kicked in and I searched frantically for the date when it got put on hold.

THERE THEY WERE ... GOLDEN NUMBERS 7/15. It was the 17th folks! That bad boy was coming home with us! I immediately spotted a sales clerk walking by and asked her about the sign and asked her if they wanted money for it NOW. She looked the sign over and said, "It's yours!"

OH, did I mention the other golden numbers on another little tag read: $399! Mattresses included! I know it may sound gross to some of you BUT the way I see it... LYSOL is amazing, they were in good condition AND, until we can get some new ones... they were INCLUDED!

We purchased them and set up delivery for today (Tuesday).

This is how the boys slept as we rearranged rooms for their beds to come. Not that they minded! haha BUT it is "illegal" for a "foster child" to share a bed with another child... SO NOT TO CROSS BORDERS, there is a divider between them. But, Bear needed to KNOW that Moe would not roll off, so he held on to him.

I still cannot believe how we came about getting them! It truly amazes me that God knows the desires of our hearts and if we wait on HIM, He will give us the perfect gift! Yes, even something so simple as bunkbeds.

I wanted to paint them white, but that would involve sanding and the like SO since the deliverers were so kind as to set them up for us I just left it alone for now. BUT in time... these babies will be painted white :). The hideous canopy will be coming off and I will be making a new one to replace it!

After they were done setting it up, I hit up walmart for their $3.00 twin sheets. I am going to have their room in light blue, red, white and dark blue (kind of a nautical feel) as for the brown... I am going to see what can be worked with. If all else fails, we will be painting light blue on the bottom.

Now to JoAnn's for some material to make their comforters and curtains. SO EXCITING!

Roo's room now has the full size guest bed back in it, as well as his BIG crib so all rooms are starting to finally come together!

We painted the front room (all but one BIG wall the piano is on). We are getting it all knocked out, one weekend at a time.

After all the painting is done we will move on to re-doing floors! One room at a time also. I know I will be so sad to see the exciting blue carpet leave our floors but, you know, there are other things that make me want to vomit, such as kitty litter, SO it will not be THAT hard of a loss.

Hurry, act fast, the offer is on the table

Due to the sensitive content in this post it is going to be posted on my other site. Thanks for reading along and praying with us through this journey!

Final hearing DAY/part 3

So sorry to have kept some of you waiting! Some of you are on my FB so you knew...

The final day was supposed to be Thursday BUT it carried on to Friday.

It was supposed to be Friday BY noon BUT it carried on, and on, and on...

Finally I had to leave at 4:30 PM. I had to be 35 min away shooting a wedding at 5PM. I was FLYING!

I waited as long as I could but got as far as the closing arguments from the attorneys.

I heard "the state" (Mr. Robert Callahan :) ) gave one heck of a closing on our behalf. THANK YOU!

I received a text message driving down the road... PARENTAL RIGHTS HAVE BEEN TERMINATED!!!!!!

In some ways I was upset that I missed the very end of it. I wanted to hear the words... BUT on the other hand I could have never watched or heard the pain rip through the court room in form of sobs and weeping. So God protected my heart.

I know the ruling is completely a blessing for us and mainly for Moe baby BUT I still have a heart for his parents. To see someone lose their children in any form or fashion just tears me apart!

I was kind of given a head's-up that this was going to be the ruling (45 min prior) so it was really no shocker. I was also told to contact our adoption attorney to expedite an adoption. So one of the girls (not sure of her title but she sits with the DA on the stand usually and KNOWS it ALL when it comes to all attorneys, Judges, mediators... anything to do with the COURT really) came out and got out her cell phone and started making phone calls to our adoption attorney, she had it already. HAHA...

He called my phone shortly after the ruling was over while i was driving so I was unable to answer because I didn't hear it. I got his message later to call him. I will be returning that call TOMORROW.

I was told that even though the rights have been terminated that grandparents, parents still have visits until the adoption is consummated (which is why they were recommending I have an adoption expedited). Not that we are going to have a CLOSED adoption, but we also cannot continue the weekly visits. HAHA I guess I could always NOT answer my phone :).

We are still unsure of a lot of details but as of now, HE IS FREE FOR ADOPTION!!!

More to come...

Final Hearing part 2

This morning I was driving to Court and I grabbed my phone to make a phone call. I noticed a text message had been sent so I looked at my phone and realized there had been 4 messages sent to my phone. I, DID NOT, check my messages right then... ahem.

The messages were from Moe's BM. She was telling me that she was running late and the rest of the text messages sent me into a big ball of tears and snot.

I show up at the court house crying and I meet her attorney at the door. I hand her my phone and instruct her on how to operate my phone to navigate to the other messages sent by her client.

Basically she stated that she knew that Moe was in a great home and that J and I LOVE him dearly. She said that she was truly grateful for us being there for him and that the last thing she wanted to do was to break his heart again. She said that no matter what happened that she would accept it but she was NOT giving up.

I respect her decision in that she is NOT quitting on her son. She will fight with all she has for her son. I do know the odds are stacked and leaning against her but I really want her to fight. I want her to finish strong too.

A friend of mine sent me an email the other day and she was praying for us. She put in there that she prays that we finish strong. That is so important to me... and I believe that she, too, is finishing strong. I KNOW God is proud of her. I know there are poor choices, I know there was a past and some issues still needing corrected BUT I KNOW HIS hand is in her life and that HE loves her! I hope some day she will truly see the love HE has for her.

So as of now the trial is still going on. I was told tomorrow will be the last day. They said it should last no longer than noon tomorrow... I am on edge.

My emotions are all over the place. I SO want her to succeed, but I also know she has had 2 years to get it together and has not yet. I love that girl and pray for her that she will understand that we will NEVER leave her out of his life! Sweet girl. God cover her heart and speak truth and peace to her heart. Let her know it is okay to let go and let you have it as well.

I want to just wrap my arms around her and let her cry, to tell her it's okay and to let it all out. You can tell she is just hurting so badly. I want to show her the mother's heart she has never seen as well. She needs someone to hold her... Father please be that someone tonight for her.

Amen.

Final hearing part I

This morning J and I went to court and found SEVERAL familiar faces sitting in the seats to support our family. I cried, a little. I could not believe that there were people who actually WANTED to be there for us.

You hear people say that they are praying and that if you need anything to call but you never really understand that until they are THERE!

I am the worlds' worst when it comes to incorporating others to "help" me or do things for me. I would rather not burden anyone for what I feel is MY duty or obligation. I think one day I will better understand how to receive that kind of love and not always just be the giver.

I am the first on the stand to testify which was a huge blessing, just so I could get it over with.

I gave them all the information to the best of my knowledge. I did great until they asked me what condition Moe returned to us this last time. I lost it. My heart hurt so badly seeing him again in my mind the day he was brought back this last time. He was so wounded and he was hollow. He stared straight through you. He was so angry and not at all my Moe whom had left just 4 months earlier. What on earth could they have done to my sweet boy to turn him so inside out. Just the thoughts of it plagued my mind to a point of sheer PAIN for him.

I cried. I told them how he was so distorted from the way he had been when he lived in our home. I spoke about the ways that he had regressed so terribly to a point that you could no longer understand a word he uttered. He was BROKEN. But we accepted him and mended him yet again.

After a good 30 minutes it seemed we went to break for 15 min. Then back to the stand. I testified some more. They asked me about the mother and what kind of relationship I had with her. I told them that we had bonded and I felt like there was a good relationship between us.

When it came right down to it they asked me point blank "Do you feel that it is in 'Moe's' best interest for his mothers' rights to be terminated?" I felt the lump in my throat and then I felt a peace and the words flowed out of my mouth. "In 'MOE'S' best interest, YES".

I could not believe I had the courage to say it. I could not believe I was able to speak out against what I THOUGHT I wanted... for them to be reunified... but I did. And I did not feel ashamed. I felt it was truly what GOD intended to be said.

After all was said and done I finally got to get down from the stand and then it was J's turn to testify.

I sat and listened to him testify about Moe and his relationship with our family, Moe's relationship with Bear and Roo, his relationship with us as his "mommy and Daddy".

It was all well until they asked J about our sweet Olivia, Samuel, and Ymali. I cried again. Imagine that. I haven't cried over that in a LONG time. I haven't even really thought about anything much. July 9th was Olivia Grace's 5th birthday, I thought about things that day. I emailed one friend and told her, just because it was on my heart and I needed to talk to someone, but as far as anything else goes there was nothing.

I believe the state just wanted to clarify WHY we are foster/adoptive parents. It is not because of any ill gain. It isn't because we feel like we can be better people if we do this. It is simply because we feel the calling to be parents... however that looks. We knew there were babies without mommies and daddies and we were a mommy and daddy without babies... we were a perfect match for one another! I think that got some emotions going in the court room. I started hearing sniffles other than my own.

Either way, after J finished testifying I believe there were maybe one or two more who got on the stand and testified. All pretty much resulting in the same thing. Mom is NOT capable of providing for Moe on a day to day basis. She has no job, no GED, no car NOR a license... Sweet girl. Breaks my heart! But in all honesty it doesn't look good.

We went to lunch with J's family and then back to court. We were there from 9A-5P. I was (AM) exhausted. Tomorrow will be more of the same thing. I have been told that it is going to be going into Friday. I have a wedding shoot on Friday so this is NOT fun for me. I am SO ready for this to ALL be over!

hey, how's it going

Okay yeah so I am SLACKING on the blog front. But our home front also looks a bit chaotic right now so don't be too jealous.

We are basically just living day to day without an idea of what is happening. It just goes on. If I can stay on our schedule ... GREAT, but we have learned that pop up visits and appointments, court hearings, mediations (we are about to attend our 3rd one just for Moe) pretty much take over our lives. It's absolutely insane and we are tapped out! **more on that later**

But for now... an update...

Roo is doing great. He has not had any visits with anyone from any sort of biological anything. SO we are feeling pretty confident that he will be ours before too long.

He is 5 months old now (almost 6 on the 12th) He has been a little delayed getting to milestones but I have learned after 5 children that none are the same and that boys are just generally slower at most all things when developing.

But here is what he can do. He is eating solids like a champ. He eats 6 oz of formula Every 3 hours from 7:30A to 7P. He sleeps from 7:30P to 7:30A (has been sleeping from 10P-7A since 2 months old). We moved him to 7:30 when he would no longer wake for his 10P bottle even when we would try so hard to wake him. We just stopped and upped his intake to 6 oz per feeding instead of 4.5 oz.

He is still having a bit of trouble with reflux. We use cereal in every bottle just to thicken it a little and then of course the all famous letting him sit still and not lying him down 30 min after eating.

We got him an amber/hazel wood necklace to wear for it's natural healing remedies (amber - teething pain; Hazel wood - reflux *and a slew of others*) and that helped a little more. So now it is just spit up instead of all out rivers. NICE!

He has been teething HARD for about 2 months now. I see little white knobs starting at the very tops of his gums so it may take a couple months for them to come through but he chews on everything and is so irritable if he doesn't get a dose of his homeopathic teething drops (b.c he is allergic to orajel). Wearing his necklace helps a lot too. So with the combination of all that we have finally found a happy place for our son Rooster! :)

He smiles all the time now. I can get him laughing uncontrollably with pretty much anything I do IF he is in the mood to laugh. He has a very serious disposition about him and if he is in a mood, put him in his bed and shut the door because nothing is going to cheer him up. After he sleeps it off he is all better. We are praying for his spirit to be lighter BUT if that is how God created him then we are praying for a patient and loving wife for him one day!

He is pretty happy go lucky and just enjoys being along for the ride. He can roll from back to front now and reverse. He can scoot all the way across the floor on his back if you let him. He is working on sitting tripod style but could care less to use his arms. He can hold his own bottle although he likes to get attention by letting go just so he can cry about it. I let him cry it out usually and he holds on a bit tighter next time. Is that just mean... Yeah I don't think so either.

He loves to play in his exersaucer and he absolutely ADORES his big brothers. He watches them with such enthusiasm and giggles when they come near him. Nothing like what Miley used to do but he is a boy... I don't expect a whole lot of excitement about much. Not to say they don't get excited about things, they do, but not AS excited as the one girl we had and other girls I have witnessed.

He can grab toys and pull them to his mouth...WHERE everything ends up!

... well, as usual, I have run out of time to sit still for 5 min so I will hopefully be back with more updates soon.