Story of me (part 5)

Needless to say the relationship with J ended soon after that and I moved in with C and her husband. I had started another job there in that city and met another guy (N)... yep... there's more. We dated for a little while but I wanted to be back with J so I broke things off with N and moved back in with J at his parents house. He treated me real bad now (I guess since I had put him through the wringer). But I wanted nothing more than to be with him so I tried my hardest to make everything work out.

We started partying pretty heavy. I found out I was pregnant AGAIN! I was actually happy about it. I "loved" this guy and he was talking about us working out and we could make this family work. Oh my goodness! I can keep it and you will be happy!?! All was going well and we stopped partying to keep the pregnancy healthy.

That lasted about two weeks and his "friends" were telling him all kinds of lies and he backed out on me. He told me he wanted for me to terminate this pregnancy and he wanted nothing more to do with me. I was destroyed! I was crying and just holding out hoping maybe he would change his mind and he would love me and want this baby too. Instead he came to me with the money in hand and an appointment. He drove me himself! Everything inside me was screaming and I wanted to run. I was just too dumb and didn't know anything else. This was the path I was so used to!

I left his parent's house and moved in with my uncle. Again the party life was by my side! I lived and breathed alcohol, weed and bars. A couple years passed and I crossed paths with N again and we fell madly in love...(oops... forgot the quotations)... "madly in love". He moved in with me at my cousins apartment, he started paying my way in life and soon we got engaged. It was a luxurious life...many fine material items. The emotional torment was very raw though... one night he had just gone mental trapping me in the apartment. I punched him and knocked us both backwards. I scrambled to my feet making a break for the door and he jumped up knocking me out of the way. I punched through the window screaming for help (I mean c'mon it's an apartment complex for crying out loud! Someone is bound to hear me!!!) The cops showed up and I was a sucker and wanted to protect him (c'mon guys, give me a break... he said he was sorry! HA!) I told them that "the guy had left" when he was really just hiding out in the other room.

I told him I was done. Gave him his ring and he left. AND then he returned again... crawling and begging and crying! okay okay okay! I have a soft (insert NAIVE) heart! We were "engaged" for a while... (wore the ring; knew I never really wanted to see the altar with this man). The last straw came when he kidnapped me... YEP, that was it!

He fed himself lies so much he actually believed himself and one night he had gotten really jealous (I am still lost as to why!) and he said "let's leave right now!" (we were at a bar) and I was like..."ummmm, oooookaaaay?". My cousin was the bartender there and she was looking at me like "he's nuts... you need to dump him!" He grabbed my arm and jerked me out the door. Then proceeded to yell at me for random things... all I could do was laugh! It was terrible! He threw me in his truck and sped off. We stopped to get gas (What good is a kidnapping if you don't have enough gas to make it out of town!!! hahhahahhahaha) so I got out and tried running. He caught me and threw me back in the truck locking the door...but smart one says... if you pull on the handle from the INSIDE it unlocks!!! hahahaha I ran off at least 3 times and he took off and caught me everytime. (I was in Doc boots and he is FAST!)

Finally after getting a couple drops of gas in the tank between catching me and hahaha LOCKING MY DOOR a worker comes out and stands there looking at us... he then goes on to change the trash liner where we were parked. (Chicken! What? you don't want in on this game too??) We speed off and are flying down the interstate. We pass a cop that had pulled someone over and I open the door and start dangling out the door hoping he would find that illegal and stop us. NOPE! I would have jumped but N caught my pants and was holding on swerving as I dangled out the door! (A real soap opera ladies and gents).

I figured I may as well tag along for the ride, afterall I was the guest of honor! I pretended to be asleep so to throw him off. When he slowed down I would jump out then. Well I don't know how he managed to drive for an hour with no stop signs or lights... maybe he just ran them, ya think?!

Soon we had hit a gravel road and in my mind I am thinking "great he's about to kill me and dump me off on this old gravel road and nobody will ever know". He slows down to about 45-50 mph and I figure there would never be another opportunity so I open the door and jump having no idea where I was. All I remember was my feet hitting the ground, hearing beer bottles hit the road and bright flash of light and nothing. Complete black. In about a minute I come to and I try to get up to run but all I could do was look and I saw the tail lights and reverse lights coming straight for me. The truck skid to a stop a few feet in front of me and I just lay down for lack of feeling in my legs. He got out and came running up to me, he picked me up off the ground and I then told him I could not feel my legs. He takes me over to the truck and "stands me up" so he can open the door. UM YEAH... I told you "I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS" so he picks me up off the ground AGAIN and puts me in the truck. He drives me to his grandparent's house. Apparently that's where we had been going that whole time. Well why didn't you say so, I would have made some hors d' ourvs, hors d' urvs, some snacks.

He parks in the driveway and goes inside (fyi... it is really late in the night at this point). I start trying to move my legs and get enough gelatin to wiggle that I jump back out of the truck and wobble across the road to an abandoned parking lot with a pay phone. I am trying to remember my cousins cell no but cannot. I hide in a dark shadow hoping that I can hide out til morning when things open.

He begins driving around the parking lot and spots me. He takes me over to his grandparent's house (they loved me) and they got me cleaned up and gave me some pajamas to sleep in and made sure he stayed FAR AWAY from me. His grandmother came in and prayed over me. I cried, I felt so lost.