The day before...

Today is our final day with Moe. I am having a hard time breathing and knowing that he will be leaving tomorrow at this same time. My heart is aching and there's no power I have to stop it. I have raised this child for 4 months and now have to just hand him over to people he doesn't even know. I don't even know them. Think about your own children.... raising them for 4 months of their lives and saying to some stranger (except we don't get to even talk to them; i have to send a letter about him) here is my baby I have devoted my life to for the past 4 months but here you go. Good luck with him. And if he needs me, well there's nothing he can do about it he will just have to figure out that you are taking care of him now and think I, the only Mommy he knows that has taken care of him and comforted him and smiled with and talked to him most of his life, have abandoned him like the others. I HATE THIS FEELING... Like I am failing my son... only he's not MY son I am again reminded.
I know that he is indeed God's son and He will be watching over Moe even if I cannot be there. I have to trust that we did the best we could in raising him the way that God intended for the time permitted. I KNOW these things to be true of God. He is never wrong in His timing and He is never wrong in anything He does. Everything is for the Glory of our God. Let's just pray that Moe's whole family will come to know the Lord through this whole experience.
My heart is heavy but I have to proclaim the goodness otherwise the devil will find his way in. WE DO NOT WANT THAT!!! And we will not allow it in our home. AMEN!!!