Bittersweet...

We are now with one child. Not that that is a bad thing, it is just going to take some time getting used to the new routine around our home. It all seems so surreal; Like he is just away for a time but every time I think of putting him in his car seat in the CPS car I think of the fact that I will never see that sweet little face again. It breaks my heart and I have wept good and hard but I do know that God is bigger and he has great things in store for Moe. I am still praying that the new family will see fit to send updates and pictures. Maybe Johnny and I can even take a trip to Houston sometime to visit.
I am having to pack up the little things here that stayed behind... I tell you it doesn't get more real than when you go to his little crib and he is not in there and you think "he will never lie down in that bed again... we will never see him in there again or he will never play with these toys again." It is sobering. My arms miss him and my heart longs to hold him again and see that sweet smile. I have missed him all day. We went out to lunch together, just the 3 of us after Moe left and ran some errands in town and it was definitely a lot easier with one infant but subconsciously I would go to his car door to get him out and there was nothing to get but Bears sippy cup.
I know this is probably depressing to some of you; and to some of you you are thinking, How can she do it... It is prayer that is helping us face this season of life. And we do appreciate you and your prayer support. We would fail to stand strong if it were not for your standing in the gap on our behalf when we are too weak. We will be okay; We will make it through this too. God never gives us more than we can handle and for that I am thankful.
We are now looking forward to the Sept 9 final termination hearing for Bear. God please see us fit to adopt Bear and raise him as our own. This is going to take some strength to get through this as well. We are going to be meeting with the bio mom (we've never so much as seen her yet) and her attorney face to face to discuss mediation and what she would like to get out of his adoption. hmmmmm we will see what happens with that. For now that is what we have to focus on and pray through. It will be a little easier now with just Bear to focus on seeing that he is going through this dramatic phase of life. (By the way I am taking any and all suggestions on how to deal with a 10 month old BOY Ü ! WOW!!!)
We will continue fostering infants after this is all said and done. No, this is not easy but when is it that God calls you to do something EASY that is for HIS GLORY!!! I have always heard that if you do not have to work hard at getting it then it is usually not worth having. It is now that we will see the goodness of God; when everything realistically seems that it could, in no way, be good. "God let your Glory fall... as on that ancient day. "