Here we still sit

I have been pleased with the hospitality and level of care we have received from our Kidsville staff at the hospital. They have been super kind and have loved on our little Roo with sincere compassion. I couldn't be happier.

It feels as though after a week of being there though that it is all starting to fade. The kindness only seems short lived. Maybe it is my lack of sleep that is giving me such a different perception, but it seems that they look at us like "you are still here?"

Well, yes, as a matter of fact we are. BUT we are not here for the same reason as before! Roo has been RSV free (or at least symptom free) for two days now. His Saturation level has remained at or right under 100%. Everything seems fine with him MINUS the random fever he developed the night before we were supposed to leave.

Him being so small and born preemie they want to keep an eye on him and make sure there is nothing infecting his little body. So far they have done a spinal tap, a urine culture and a blood culture to make sure he is covered and they can rule out any infections. We have to wait another 48 hours after all the tests have been done. That was yesterday. Tomorrow will complete our 48.

They started him on antibiotics just to cover all bases in case there is something that comes back. That way they will have already started the treatment. I am thankful for the over compensation when it comes to his healthcare, truly I am. I am just tired of being there. I feel like we are "taking up their room and time".

I have been feeling the tension and am really quite frustrated at this point. He has been feeling rather irritable as well, having been poked and prodded in every place. So when I am finally able to get him calmed down, swaddled and sleeping they come in to take vitals AGAIN! So they UN swaddle him and start poking and prodding some more and REcreate the insanity of an unhappy baby boy. He has been enduring so well and has been doing so great but it is diminishing. I KNOW he is tired of being awakened and UNCOMFORTABLE, he lets it be known now. At home he was already used to his schedule and as much as we try and stay true to that at the hospital we can't help the nurses coming in to wake him up for a breathing treatment, a dose of antibiotics, blood pressure, temperature (RECTALLY), listening to his heart beat... you know the NORM!

Tomorrow is our sweet son Samuel's birthday/passing day. 4 years already! It kind of snuck up on me really. Tomorrow I really want to finally walk out of the hospital with our son. I have never been able to walk out of the hospital with our children... minus the ER trips we've encountered. Tomorrow I want that to be different. I want to hold our baby boy in my arms and leave the hospital with him and come home and enjoy him along with his brothers. It would mean so much to my heart.

I was able to come home for a while today to see our boys and have a bit of a break. It was nice to see the boys and my husband for a while. I got to sleep and rest a bit before manning the ship once J left for work tonight.

I miss my boys so much. Bear is talking so much more clear and is pronouncing words almost to a "T" now. Tonight I told him "I love you Bear" and he looks at me and says "I love you too Mama". Before it would sound something like "I lub lou too", not tonight he was pronouncing his "V" and his "Y" very well. He has learned all the individual sounds for all letters and so now he is starting to incorporate them in daily use of vocabulary. So interesting to see it in action. Especially when I have been away and hear him talking like a small adult when I come home. I cried. I feel like I have missed so much with them in just this past week.

Moe is still not able to pronounce words. I am not sure if the ear infection going unattended for so long caused long term damage or what but we work with him and he can't even mimic what you are saying for the most part. Some things he has been able to say but there just seems to be an underlying problem that is preventing him from hearing correctly OR speaking correctly. Early Childhood Intervention was supposed to come out Tuesday but we were not here so she had to reschedule. She is supposed to be assessing both Roo and Moe so that will be good to see what she says about it all. We may need to take a different approach or therapy even to get him back up to par.

So thus far we are still hanging in there. We are praying that the fever (twice now) was just a fluke and that all will be healed in his little body in Jesus name! We are all ready to get back to normal!

Ready for home!

That is the face of a little boy that is READY to get home! We all are ready to be back to normal.

All of the children are doing great. The boys at home are feeling well. They are still coughing that icky cough and have runny noses but no fevers for a week now!

Roo has been off of O2 all morning and has been staying above 95% so that is wonderful! He has to be monitored for 24 hours after off of O2 so tomorrow if all goes well we will be going home.

As I typed that I had to change a poopy diaper. I found blood in his stool so that got sent off to lab. I pray it is nothing more than irritation from all the passing of the stool from swallowing a lot of mucous. Please pray with me that it is nothing serious!

I am going to nap before heading home to watch our boys so daddy can go to work tonight.

We are so ready for us to be out of here!

From the land of nod

***UPDATE***

Roo ended up desatting last night and his O2 was started again. He may be staying over night again today. It isn't a terrible thing that he is desatting, it is just basically that he still has so much gunk in his chest and nasal cavities that he is not getting enough room air into his system.

Other than that he looks GREAT. His color is wonderful, he is able to cough up a lot of the stuff from his chest. He has had great intake and output. (feeding and diapers :)). He sounds wonderful and is even starting to "talk" a little here and there. Such a wonderful sound!

I will keep you updated as we progress throughout this day. Thank you for all your prayers. We have NOT been doing this on our own!

***Original Post***

We are still alive and getting better by the day. We have been told that Roo could go home as early as tomorrow. They are trying to wean him off of oxygen. As of now he is on so little that it shouldn't really make a difference, but it does. When they take him completely off he desats (his oxygen level goes down too low) after about 45 min. So he is still working too hard to do it all on his own and there is still too much build up in his chest that he can't seem to get past.

As I am typing this our nurse came in and turned his oxygen completely off so we will see if he can maintain his own levels.

On the home front the boys are making a great recovery. They have not had fever in about 5 days. They still have a cough and a runny nose but NOTHING like what it was. They are not as hoarse as before and the snot is clear.

I went home to be with our older guys this morning and it was a great joy to be with them. I am running on VERY LITTLE sleep and I am feeling it catching up with me. I showered, & cleaned our house while I was home and played with the guys. I gave the boys their own little chores to get done and while Bear was bringing laundry into the laundry room he looked at me and smiled and said "I am sooo happy". Sheer joy cannot even begin to explain my feeling! "I am glad you are happy Bear. I am so very glad!"

I brought my camera up to the hospital to keep Roo's time up here documented in pictures. While I was going through the pictures I found a fun surprise... J had taken some pictures of them playing "dress-up" the other day.

He has been a GREAT partner and support during this time. I cannot say that my house has stood a chance against my guys at home but they are doing great together! He has been coming up with so many fun things for the boys to do to take their mind off of being home for SO long and so long without their mommy. When I went home our furniture was all turned over and sleeping bags strewn over the tops... it was a major fort area. I just laughed.

Bear has been acknowledging his "boo-boo's" more and needs kisses to heal the pain. I have kissed more bumped heads, scraped knees, squished fingers than I can count but last night I encountered a first and an unforgettable. We were playing on the floor in the front room I was on my hands and knees chasing the boys around the floor. Bear fell and hit his bottom on the corner of their rocking chair.

OH YEAH it happened... he comes crawling backwards toward my face. I look up to see his bottom right in my face and hear the sweetest words for the most awful request "kiss it Mommy". I bust out laughing and he is continuously stuffing his rear in my face trying to get me to kiss it. At one point he looks between his legs at me and says "KISS IT MOMMY!" So I swallowed my pride and kissed his tiny hiney!

**as it has taken me about 5 hours off and on to write this Roo has been off of his O2 for just as long. He is maintaining his sats with room air. If this keeps up over night we will be discharged to go home tomorrow.** Praying for a GREAT NIGHT!