OUCH

Bear has an attractive manner about him. He is pleasantly charming as well as witty and handsome. BUT the part where he is sweet is way too irresistible for the fire ants in our yard.

We have treated our yard and I believe the last time was in Spring/ maybe summer. But since the rains came it has created quite the nesting ground for these pesky varmints!

He always plays by the storm shelter. He goes up the side and comes sliding down the front cement slope. This time he went a bit far; he went trekking over the back side. I was a bit nervous because the grass has been grown up around there for a while and I KNEW of the POSSIBILITY of ants. So I called him to me. He didn't come. I called him again, still no response.

** We have been using this new technique that we just learned in a fun "parenting" class at our church. We call him and he responds "coming" and stops whatever he is doing and comes running and greets us with a smile and says "yes (ma'am, sir)" ... RECENTLY though he has been cutting his TOP molars so here we go again with the CRAZY behavior. He doesn't listen and respond like he normally does when he isn't teething. DRIVES ME NUTS that he can be so well behaved then BAM... one day their little mouth is in pain and they regress back to a 6 month old!**

So anyway. He wasn't responding to my calling him. I start getting a bit agitated that he is not listening and then he starts screaming and comes running around the storm shelter... COMPLETELY COVERED IN FIRE ANTS... HAIR TO SHOE SOLE!

I start brushing him off and then just strip him down in the front yard (good thing for secluded country living ;)) Then I have to find them all over him and start picking them off. They were all in his hair and on his stomach, groin, hiney, feet, ankles, even between his fingers and on his neck.

I brought him inside and dropped him in a vinegar/baking soda cool bath. He freaked out but the stinging stopped and he calmed down finally. I call his dr. the receptionist told me the dr. only was there for a half day and was already gone. So she agrees that I should take him to the ER. We go. They look him over and he has no severe symptoms of reaction. So they prescribe him some Benadryl and Bactriban cream for when they "rupture" to prevent staph infection. I was also given instruction that if it got really red to take him in for a follow up with his dr.. I am watching the area on his wrist right now. IT is pretty red.


It is scary that Bear gets Staph so easily. The smallest spot on him will become a HUGE deal if untreated. So here we sit today trying to take it easy and NOT get into any more trouble!

Guess if it is not raining this weekend we will be treating our yard again!

yes it's a sad post... but it's okay

I am having a rough day. I admit it. Usually the one or two days following the "goodbye" is pretty calm (shock, denial)... but then the third day hits! I guess technically it is the 2nd day without her here but whatever... it still creeps in.

I miss her laugh, I miss her squeals and talking, I miss her petite little self all kicking and rolling around. I miss her smells and her smiles. I MISS HER. I miss holding her. I miss kissing her plump cheeks. I miss snuggling her and holding her when she was sleepy. I miss watching her laugh at her "brother" and Duke and Charlie (cat). I MISS HER!


I hear she is doing great. I hear that she is getting spoiled and that is pleasing. It still hurts all the same. I know she is in a great place and I know she will be fine (as will we all) but it does not take the pain out of the equation. I am jealous ( I know it is wrong to be jealous... I am a sinner... i repent) I want to be the one getting to LOVE on her and KISS her sweet face and HOLDING her all day. Fact is.. nothing is going to change. I HAVE to get a grip and change my heart. I do need help. I do need lots of prayer and I do need lots of help from the HOLY SPIRIT!

I know as the days go on the pain will become more faint and I will remember only certain things and not EVERY DETAIL! But for now it is still very fresh and very real and I miss her like nothing else.

Tonight Bear wanted to take a lovey to her that got left behind. Trying to explain to him that she is not in her room was very hard. He didn't seem to be affected by it really but for a mother it was hard HAVING to explain it!

I have talked to the new mommy and I do like her a lot. We have so much in common and I have a feeling that we will be friends for a VERY long time :). I am blessed to know our little Miley Bird is in good hands... GOD's hands are never hurtful. We have been blessed even in the midst of our pain.

Today she is gone!

today our little Miley Bird is gone and my heart is heavy.

I met with the families at the court house this morning before the hearing. I have to say that I couldn't have liked them any better if they were my own family.

They were warm and very kind. You could see the hand of God all over the family that she will be living with. I was blessed indeed to meet them and get to "know" them before letting go of our sweet Miley Bird!

Even though my heart is aching now... I know HE is watching over her and will keep her. I know there is a plan an a purpose in place for her little life. He knew her in her mother's womb! He knew exactly WHERE she would grow up and WHO she'd grow up to be. I am blessed to have met the family she will be growing up with! It puts a frantic heart to rest.

The hurt is still here and it is still very real and very fresh. But I am being HELD... in the palm of my FATHER's hand. He is protecting me and for that I am so very grateful!

I will post more later... but for now it is transition time at the Wachsmann house!