Moe Baby update

We got to see Moe Baby the other day! We met with Daddy F at a park and let the boys play while we discussed how he's been doing.

When they first arrived Bear was playing on the slide. He was climbing up the ladder and I told him that Moe was there. He quickly turns around and starts scanning for him... "daytob?", "daytob?"

Finally I put Bear down on the ground and point to Moe and he starts running. F puts Moe down also and they start running for one another. screaming their names to one another! My heart jumped into my throat. I couldn't catch my breath.

I watched as they ran for eachother squealing with delight. Finally they reached one another and Bear holds out his arms for a brotherly embrace and Moe runs right past him! Yep! He dodges him laughing and then continues on with his vision fixed on the goal... ME! He is running straight for me with Bear on his heels trying to get him to turn around by tugging on his shirt and craning around to see his face repeating "Daytob, Daytob! Hi Daytob".

Finally Moe reaches me and I kneel down to embrace my once son! Oh how I could have stayed in that moment forever! I breathed him in and hung onto the feel of my little boy in my arms once again.

He has lost weight. He has not been eating his father says and refuses to drink. I mean they do get him to eat bananas and he will eventually take some sips of his sippy but not like normal.

I explained to Daddy F that it is Moe's way of controling what he can in his "upside down world". Things are happening that he cannot control. Things that he is not okay with but he has been forced to be okay with them. Well the two things he can control are his eating and his attitude, both of which have shown dramatic change, and so he WILL control them with all his might. But I told him to not fear. A child will not starve themselves to death. His body will override his mind eventually and he will eat again. I told him to just keep offering fluids, pedialyte if possible, and even if it is 13 bananas in one day feed him whatever he will eat at this point.

The boys played side by side and giggled at nothing together. Moe kept coming back to see me and then he would smile and laugh and run off to find his bubby. At one point I caught him looking at me and I walked over to him, he reached up for me and I took him into my arms and he laid his little head on my shoulder and let me hold him there. I rocked him and told him how much I loved him and missed him. He sat up and looked at me and just smiled and said ... "luh lou" then cheesed real big and wanted down. I know every boy has a limit! :) Moms get that! :)

I was talking to Daddy F and he says it's hard. Unbelieveably hard. He is still managing but I reminded him that Moe always has a home with us. He will always be Moe's daddy and we will never fight him for that. But we want what's best for them both. Even for the mother.

Oh FATHER... lead my heart to understand what is happening to our little Moe and help me to accept them.