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Dreams {2}After we had Olivia we felt called to try for another. We were soon expecting our second child. Again the dreams started coming strong.
He would be born early and he would be cold. I could not keep him warm or alive. He would die.
When I was 17 weeks pregnant with him my water broke in the middle of the night. This time I knew and went to my dr the following morning. He confirmed my fluid was gone via US. But when my cervix was checked... Closed, no labor.
I was put on hospital bed rest and IV antibiotics. After two days of no progressive labor I was sent home with oral antibiotics. That night I went into labor. The following day I had our son, Samuel David.
The dreams stopped.
I went in for a check up today.
The sono confirmed that there is still only 1 cm of fluid and she had to search hard to find even that.
My dr. said that if we have consistently lower than 1-2 cm of fluid then they are going to be prepping us for a grim outcome.
I was having a tough time the other day and asked J... "What if his fluid never builds up, they are going to want to take him early? They have told us that his lungs won't develop if there's little to no fluid!!!" (I still believe in this miracle, just having a hard moment then).
He said "they can't take him without our consent and when he is born ON his birthday the drs are going to be so baffled at the fact that he's perfect and NOTHING is wrong! He WILL be breathing on his own!"
Apparently God doesn't make His miracles a little deal this is going to be all-out AMAZING!
(I would like to be in a medically induced coma until then though so I stop the days of fear/worry - that is all)
Dreams...I was telling you all that I am a dreamer and a visionary (?) person. I see and dream prophetic things, or so I have come to believe. They feel very prophetic and seeing most come to pass, leads me even more so to believe. I will share with you dreams from my first three (after salvation) pregnancies and how my dreams now are such a huge part of me. I will share one at a time so as not to overwhelm.
When I was pregnant with our first daughter, Olivia, in 2005 I kept having dreams that she would be born early and I could do nothing to keep her warm and she would die.
These dreams happened often throughout my pregnancy. I didn't want to think too much about it, bc well, who would want to. So I just prayed that the dreams would stop. But they didn't. They persisted.
One morning after an awful reoccurrence of the same dream I woke up and prayed and asked God to give me a scripture to meditate on. He gave me Isaiah 54. That was a bit random to me, usually I would get something from proverbs or psalms but had never really gotten anything from Isaiah before.
When I read it, I kind of just laughed.
"Sing, barren woman,
You who never bore a child;
Burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,"
Says The Lord.
"Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back;
Lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.
For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
And settle in their desolate cities..."
{It goes on to say more (I was given 1-11) but for now this is where my heart was. The rest fit into place later. And trust me, it came back to me several times in many prayers throughout these years. It has been My spoken promise in more ways than one.}
Anyhow, Here I was one week away from being 6 months pregnant and doing great, I wasn't barren! Why on Earth was this my "teaching" for the day? Maybe it was meant for someone else so I just tucked it away until it needed to be pulled from the file again.
Little did I know later that day my water would break, unbeknownst to me, and two days later I would deliver our beautiful baby girl, Olivia Grace.
She was born too early and I could not keep her warm, nor could I save her. She went to be with our Father 30 min after she was born. Just like my dream. I left that hospital childless.
Several days later I had been sitting on my front porch, staring off into my place of confusion and deep pain and out of nowhere... Isaiah 54 comes before me again. I wept uncontrollably for over an hour it seemed. I was that childless woman. And though my heart hurt, I had to find a way to sing. Not for now... But someday.
The reoccurring dream stopped.
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