small Stack

In lieu of small stack!



she wasn't joking about it being bigger. I just never imagined it could be this big! We started reading it last night & didn't even make a dent in it!
I would have never believed the truths written within these pages had I not read them for myself! Makes my heart ache for Bear's mother, truly. I know now better how to pray for her and her family.

I cannot fathom our son living within the pages of that life sitting there on our table typed all out onto paper. So many "what-if's" linger in the air filled with breathtaking astonishment. What If our son had truly been sent home to live within that family? What if the mother was given one more chance to change the outcome of her new born baby? Would she opt for a better life, or stay in what she knows best? What if Bear never came here to live with us, where would he be today. What if the alleged father passed the DNA and really was proven to be Bear's dad. Would he have taken him and cared for him as he said he would have?

All these are questions that we will never know the answer to this side of heaven. One day we will see the tapestry of our lives woven together to reveal such a beautiful story! It is never what we dream it will be, but in the end it is probably much bigger than you would or could have ever planned for yourself. God is Good like that! He gives us much more than we ask for. There are storms around every corner but there is a rainbow right behind it... reminding us of HIS promises and His Glory! We say YES and AMEN! Thank you Jesus for the gift of life and giving us the promise of a family. Thank you Lord that you have delivered our Bear from the lions den and let him walk out without a scratch on him. (More to be revealed on that fun little quote later). He was handed over to be eaten by sin and you chose a different path for him. You chose a different path for us as well. We knew you were calling us to raise up a family of strong believers that would take over nations... but we didn't see how that was going to happen after the loss of our 3rd child. I say to you, We see! ~amen

I am so excited to see what our future holds for Bear, Moe, and little ol' us! It is going to be great. It is all part of our design! And it is no longer part of a sinful cycle.

set back

There I was counting down the seconds for the Adoptions worker to get here with the case file for me to read. I get a call at 9:45 stating that she had been in a fender bender and would not be able to bring the file out but that her secretary would bring it around 4PM! Just to clarify she is okay and I was concerned that she was in a wreck. on the other hand (you know since she's okay and all, if not that would be way inconsiderate but....) Ugghhhh more waiting. Instead, I told her I would be there at 4 for a visit with Moe's father this afternoon. I would pick it up then.

Hmmmm what's up with this case file? Is there something in it I am being guarded from? I will be in prayer throughout the day!

So for now I am rearranging my home for the 115th time since we moved in October of 07. I just rearranged the boys' room the other night to accommodate two cribs. Moe's new crib should be in tomorrow. Once we get it set up I will post pictures of their new fun hang out!

Poor Moe has been in a portable crib (the same one he was in when he first came. He is finally growing out of the sides! hahaha

Feburary...

We had a visit this morning with our adoptions worker. She said that all that is left is for our homestudy to be updated on the 5th and then they will write up a small addition to our summary and then it should be finalized somewhere in Feburary!!! WOW!!!

Can you believe it! I am getting so excited. I had a brief realization earlier this evening. 3 years ago on Feb 11th our son Samuel David was born and passed away. It is so amazing at the restoration God brings! It would be truly something for the adoption to actually be consummated on the 11th. The 11th is on a Wednesday and court usually takes place on a Tuesday. Oh well it is close enough and I am not sure it will even happen that soon in the month! Fact is though it will indeed happen in Feburary!

So there is a ream (stack about 4 in thick) of paper that they leave with you for you to read and learn more about your child's family and life prior to you before you finalize the adoption; you know in case you decide to change your mind after having read the ins and outs of their life. But seeing how we've had him straight from the hospital at 7 days old then I think we pretty much know all there is to know about the little mini godzilla!

That being said... I was really looking forward to getting the huge novel of paper to read up on the life of Bear before he was brought to us (yes all 7 days of it). It is just so much that is missed out on when you adopt as opposed to having your own children. Like I still have no clue as to how much he weighed at birth and how long he was. Was he a c-sec baby or what. Was he at term... you know those things... was his mother an axe murderer... just all the normal things an adoptive parent needs/wants to know about her baby prior to their life with you!

So when our adoption worker was here today she left the awaited ream of my precious son's life there on our couch to look over and sign. As she left I was in the middle of strapping on the ol' feed bags to our boys so they could have more energy for the day! When they were finally finished I put them in their play room to exhert said energy and let mommy have a little walk down memory...er. prior-to-us lane. Low and Behold I grab the novel into my hands and look at the cover that says "CONFIDENTIAL BY LAW" and a whole bunch of other important documentish looking words right there next to the words..."this is not Bear's file" (in other words there were names on the document that were not the names of children in our home)... OOOPS! Wrong case study! Ha! SOOO I call the office to leave a message for our case worker. When she later returns my call I told her that I thought the stack looked thick for a 7 day old baby... she told me "His is actually thicker"... oh geez, she is an axe murderer and so is the family! THAT IS A JOKE BY THE WAY! I AM MAKING NO CLAIMS TO KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT THE FAMILY OF BEAR! I KNOW NOTHING, SEE NOTHING, AND DEFINITELY DIDN'T SMELL ANYTHING!

So tomorrow she is going to bring the "Bear" file out for us. In the meantime I played hokey pokey and the chase the babies around the bed game to kill time (no pun intended there, and I didn't do it with an axe, nor was it in the observatory) until nap time to do the 15 other chores screaming at me from under the... you name it in my house.

See you when I come out of hidin... reading!